The children break all my jewelry, so everything I wear is cheap - from Topshop or Dorothy Perkins.

Bad impulse buys make you feel grim, don't they? It's like having consumer Tourette's. I gravitate towards austere foreign-language film DVDs when insecure.

I would love to have been around in the Keystone Studios days.

If you get 10,000 guys to put their ideal woman into a computer, it still comes out looking like Angelina Jolie.

I have a lot of funny friends, though not everyone's funny all the time. Doon Mackichan's my funniest friend in the pub; Nina Conti's the funniest with a monkey.

I think everyone is forgetting what plastic surgery is for - if you have a face-eating tumour, lose a breast or are involved in a car accident, then it's a good idea.

I can make a virtue of slapdash. Slapdash can give you courage.