A Local Government Stationery Store is something to behold. It's like walking through the back of a cupboard into a really dull Narnia.

I don't get star-struck at all.

I'm feeling incredibly Botox-tempted as my face collapses around my shoulders.

I once had a friend who did the hair for sci-fi movies, and after a particularly bad break-up I stupidly went to her salon and told her she could do anything she liked. She dyed the bottom cherry red and the top peroxide blonde.

I have a lot of funny friends, though not everyone's funny all the time. Doon Mackichan's my funniest friend in the pub; Nina Conti's the funniest with a monkey.

I've got a great relationship with my dad, but I can imagine how annoying it would be if I had to move back into his house.

My blood runs cold when I hear the 'great news' that we have found a marker for the Down's syndrome gene, which means we can identify it more easily. Why is that good news? It's only good news if you're going to terminate.