Do not strive to be a modern artist: it's the one thing, unfortunately, you can't help being.

Every morning upon awakening, I experience a supreme pleasure: that of being Salvador Dali, and I ask myself, wonderstruck, what prodigious thing will he do today, this Salvador Dali.

When I paint, the Sea Roars Others Splash about in the bath

Sometimes I spit on my mother's portrait for pleasure.

There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't, and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad.

When the creations of a genius collide with the mind of a layman, and produce an empty sound, there is little doubt as to which is at fault.

I want to perceive and understand the hidden powers and laws of things, in order to have them in my power.