God is just another artist, like me.
To be interesting, one has to provoke.
Do not strive to be a modern artist: it's the one thing, unfortunately, you can't help being.
I do not believe in my death.
Whatever happens, my audience mustn't know whether I am spoofing or being serious; and likewise I mustn't know either. I am in a constant interrogation; when does the deep and philosophically valid Dali begin, and where does the looney and preposterous Dali end?
Just as I am astonished that a bank clerk never eats a cheque, so too am I astonished that no painter before me ever thought of painting a soft watch.