My handicap? Man, I am a one-eyed, black Jew! That's my handicap!

You don’t swing where you sleep.

Real success is not on the stage, but off the stage as a human being, and how you get along with your fellow man.

There are lines that I know are going to get a belly laugh, but after a few shows I get sick of hearing myself say them so I drop them.

You name it and I've done it. I'd like to say I did it my way. But that line, I'm afraid, belongs to someone else.

I'd learned a lot in the Army. I knew that above all things in the world I had to become so big, so strong that people and their hatred could never touch me.

Imitations only better the original.