The only person I ever hurt was myself and even that I did to the minimum. If you can do that and you're still functioning, you're the luckiest person in the world.

Once I get outside my house in the morning, I'm on.

I wasn't anything special as a father. But I loved them and they knew it.

I had traveled 10 states and played over 50 cities by the time I was 4.

You name it and I've done it. I'd like to say I did it my way. But that line, I'm afraid, belongs to someone else.

The one thing you don't want is that stale sound when you've done a line so much you can't find a fresh approach to it. Drop it.

After I decided to become a Jew, only then did I learn that the Jews don't have all the money. When I found out Rockefeller and Ford were goyim, I almost resigned.