Prayers are to men as dolls are to children.

A lawyer's dream of heaven: every man reclaimed his property at the resurrection, and each tried to recover it from all his forefathers.

Those who have never had a father can at any rate never know the sweets of losing one. To most men the death of his father is a new lease of life.

The three most important things a man has are, briefly, his private parts, his money, and his religious opinions.

The seven deadly sins: Want of money, bad health, bad temper, chastity, family ties, knowing that you know things, and believing in the Christian religion.

A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct.

Letters are like wine; if they are sound they ripen with keeping. A man should lay down letters as he does a cellar of wine.