One of the first businesses of a sensible man is to know when he is beaten, and to leave off fighting at once.

A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.

If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.

Christ was only crucified once and for a few hours. Think of the hundreds of thousands whom Christ has been crucifying in a quiet way ever since.

The dons of Oxford and Cambridge are too busy educating the young men to be able to teach them anything.

It is not he who gains the exact point in dispute who scores most in controversy - but he who has shown the better temper.

The three most important things a man has are, briefly, his private parts, his money, and his religious opinions.