God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

The three most important things a man has are, briefly, his private parts, his money, and his religious opinions.

All philosophies, if you ride them home, are nonsense, but some are greater nonsense than others.

Death is only a larger kind of going abroad.

The advantage of doing one's praising for oneself is that one can lay it on so thick and exactly in the right places.

I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy.

If life must not be taken too seriously, then so neither must death.