Let us eat and drink neither forgetting death unduly nor remembering it. The Lord hath mercy on whom he will have mercy, etc., and the less we think about it the better.

Let us be grateful to the mirror for revealing to us our appearance only.

A friend who cannot at a pinch remember a thing or two that never happened is as bad as one who does not know how to forget.

In old times people used to try and square the circle; now they try and devise schemes for satisfying the Irish nation.

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.

Words are like money; there is nothing so useless, unless when in actual use.

The dons of Oxford and Cambridge are too busy educating the young men to be able to teach them anything.