They say the test of literary power is whether a man can write an inscription. I say, "Can he name a kitten?"

All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it.

The dead should be judged like criminals, impartially, but they should be allowed the benefit of the doubt.

If you follow reason far enough it always leads to conclusions that are contrary to reason.

One of the first businesses of a sensible man is to know when he is beaten, and to leave off fighting at once.

If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.

Don't learn to do, but learn in doing.