I used to be an optimist, but now I know that nothing is going to turn out as I expect.

I've done all my tricks. I'm tired of myself.

My head is filled with so much crap, or facts that I find important, but that some others don't.

I didn't have a teenage or early-20s experience that was free and without worry. I missed the screw-everything, have-a-good-time phase.

I will do comedy until the day I die: inappropriate comedy, funny comedy, gender-bending, twisting comedy, whatever comedy is out there.

Getting into television was a total fluke.

I was raised in Washington, DC in a household where one parent was a Republican and the other was a Democrat, so I got both sides.