I stroke her lightly, memorizing her body. I want her to melt into me, like butter on toast. I want to absorb her and walk around for the rest of my days with her encased in my skin. I lie motionless, savoring the feeling of her body against mine. I'm afraid to breathe in case I break the spell.
Sara GruenSometimes when you get older โ and Iโm not talking about you, Iโm talking generally, because everyone ages differently โ things you think on and wish on start to seem real. And then you believe them, and before you know it theyโre part of your history, and if someone challenges you on them and says theyโre not true โ why, then you get offended because you canโt remember the first part. All you know is that youโve been called a liar.
Sara GruenI am further back, surrounded on all sides by wailing men, their faces shiny with tears. Uncle Al promised three dollars and a bottle of Canadian whiskey to the man who puts on the best show. You've never seen such grief-- even the dogs were howling.
Sara GruenAfterward, I curl around her. We lie in silence until darkness falls, and then, haltingly, she begins to talk...She speaks without need or even room for response, so I simply hold her and stroke her hair. She talks of the pain, grief, and horror of the past four years; of learning to cope with being the wife of a man so violent and unpredictable his touch made her skin crawl and of thinking, until quite recently, that she'd finally managed to do that. And then, finally, of how my appearance had forced her to realize she hadn't learned to cope at all.
Sara Gruen