Dear God. Not only am I unemployed and homeless, but I also have a pregnant woman, bereaved dog, elephant, and eleven horses to take care of.

You work hard on a book and throw it out there and then it's beyond your control.

Sometimes I think if I had to choose between an ear of corn or making love to a woman, I'd choose the corn.

When two people are meant to be together, they will be together. It's fate.

How hard can it be to find a girl and an elephant for Christ's sake?

I just think I'm better equipped to make a study of human personality than trying to get into the mind of animals.

I stroke her lightly, memorizing her body. I want her to melt into me, like butter on toast. I want to absorb her and walk around for the rest of my days with her encased in my skin. I lie motionless, savoring the feeling of her body against mine. I'm afraid to breathe in case I break the spell.