Throw high risers at the chin; throw peas at the knees; throw it here when they're lookin' there; throw it there when they're lookin' here.

If you tell a lie, always rehearse it. If it don't sound good to you, it won't sound good to anybody.

Smile well and often, it makes people wonder what you've been up to.

Money and women. They're two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn't do for anything else. Same with money.

There never was a man on earth who pitched as much as me. But the more I pitched, the stronger my arm would get.

Avoid fried foods, which angry up the blood.

Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. If your stomach disputes you, lie down and pacify it with cool thoughts. Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. Go very light on the vices, such as carrying on in society. The social ramble ain't restful. Avoid running at all times. Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you.