My men have suffered greatly (from boredom), much blood has been shed (by mosquitoes), and I have swung my ax mightily (chopping firewood). Surely we have earned our place in the annals of history—for never has there been so little war in a war.

I would much prefer their minds to be engaged in the deadly arts than clouded with dreams of marriage and fortune, as your own so clearly is!

Her only fault is that she lacks sense enough to avoid falling in love with such a fool as I!

I like my zombies slow and I like my zombies stupid.

Of all the weapons in the world, love is the most dangerous.

Surely life has taught you that a thing can be both beautiful and vile.

There are but two types of men who desire war: those who haven’t the slightest intention of fighting it themselves, and those who haven’t the slightest idea what it is. … Any man who has seen the face of death knows better than to seek him out a second time.