When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day, your mind starts going to strange places.

Chris Elliott could read the phonebook and he's funny.

The two symbols of the Republican party: an elephant and a big fat white guy who's threatened by change.

I think at times I read too much of my own press. I wish I was better at taking in how great my life is, but that's surprisingly elusive. I tend to be very hard on myself and insecure about failing no matter what happens.

religion notoriously claims that they invented morality, they didn't. Morality exists in animals, ya know.

Everybody in my family had a real sick, twisted sense of humor. Most of the jokes we make in our house, we would just never even dream of making anywhere else. Just sick, horrible stuff. That wasn't anything new to college.

Denzel Washington has a great sense of humor. He did all those 'Nutty Professor' movies.