I didn't think I'd ever be an actor.

I don't even have a stalker. I'm just not the guy that people stalk.

I remember thinking as I was doing the jokes for the first time, "If I can hear that very clearly, I'm not hearing laughter." It just became deafening, this buzzing noise. I mean, it was brutal. It was really terrible. Then I remember thinking, "At least nobody important, or anyone who I really respect, saw that." And then literally right when I went off the stage, Jerry Seinfeld got up and went on. So I was like, "Oh great. Seinfeld saw me bomb." On the other hand, I thought, "At least no one will be thinking of me anymore. They'll just be focusing on him."

People don't usually wanna kill me for one of my movies until after they've paid 12 bucks for it.

It was really fun [on set of the Pineapple Express]. I mean, how could I not have fun? It was exactly what you think it would be.

If there was any drug that was to symbolize the people that ate our heroes, it seems like bath salts was a good idea. It's also a drug that, I think, is still funny to a lot of people.

I was in high school when Will Ferrell was first on 'Saturday Night Live', and I remember thinking, 'Man, that guy is the funniest guy ever.'