Doesn't matter. If I would've had a beer before the game, I would've been drunk. So I don't believe in 'if.'

Nobody's going to tell me how to be different, so stop asking me. Stop asking me what two-plus-two is. Everybody knows two-plus-two is five.

Anyone can win a slam-dunk contest. The real Superman is dead. He was assassinated by Pat Riley. I'm the Big Cactus now and ready to roll again.

You know what's crazy about Yao? He speaks perfect English. A lot of people don't know that. Perfect English. When I was over there, I called him. He's like, 'Whassup big fella?' Perfect English!

You like that analogy? That was pretty good?

I have a lot left. There's only four or five good centers in the league and I'm in that number. ... I've been in it for 17 years but I've missed three years because of injury. If you do the math, I've still got three years left. You got that?

If you take a needle and stick her in the booty and take a needle and stick me in the booty, we're both going to say ouch.