This really isn't a game we really should be proud of. This game is liking taking your kids to the zoo. You're supposed to take your kids to the zoo. You're a father. So a team like that, we're supposed to beat them like this.

I came here with the perfect chemist's perception. The formula they had was perfect and any added ingredient could make it go bad or worse.

Somebody asked me about this the other day. A young Shaq and a young Penny, the young Shaq's going to take over. A medium Shaq and a young Kobe, the medium Shaq is going to take over. Now you've got an older Shaq and a young Dwyane; you step aside, you let him do his thing and you just do what's asked of you.

I would like to be referred to as 'The Big Aristotle'.

The problem with kids these days is they don't have enough fun stuff to do. When I was stationed with my family in Germany, youth basketball programs gave me something to strive to do my best at.

In junior high in Germany I fought kids all the time. I had such a bad temper, I almost got thrown out of school. A few lickings from my dad got me out of that scene. He wore me out with a paddle.

If you take a needle and stick her in the booty and take a needle and stick me in the booty, we're both going to say ouch.