They won't talk to you because I'm undercover.

Alvin's the coach. We must be the Clippers. And I must be Olowokandi. Nooooo!

I'm getting older. I'm getting sexier. I'm getting meaner. I can still do what I do.

He can play. He can shoot. He can dribble. He can pass. He's a great player. Period. No question about it. And if anyone thinks Dirk is not a great player, I'll punch them in their face.

Pat Riley is the best coach I've ever had...

You gotta fight all the karate guys, and once you kill them off, now you gotta get to the ninjas. Once you get through the ninjas, now you gotta get to the showmen. Now me, I'm the showman of big men.

I don't believe in pressure. Pressure is when you don't know where your next meal is coming from.