I'm more like a senior adviser so I don't like to come in here and try to take over. Just like your basic karate movie where the young guys come to the old guys with beards who have them do weird stuff to get to the other side. That's who I am, the old guy with a long beard.

Some things you just can't question. Like you can't question why two plus two is four. So don't question it, don't try to look it up. I don't know who made it, all I know is it was put in my head that two plus two is four. So certain things happen. Why does it rain? Why am I so sexy? I don't know.

They won't talk to you because I'm undercover.

Now, the mistakes that I made with my other two sons, Penny and Kobe, I won't make with D-Wade. We can't let them break us up and we can't break each other up.

I painted my toenails before Dennis Rodman. One time at training camp, I stubbed my toe and the nail came loose. My mom gave me some toenail hardener, and I painted over it. I scored 40-something points that night, so it became a ritual. Paint my toenails, score 40 points.

He looks like a woman coach sometimes. I guess he's just trying to get into certain people's heads, but it won't work with me. Like a woman who coaches and cries all the time. He can't get in my head. He's a crybaby.

I'm just getting better and better. It's just like a bunch of worker bees protecting the king bee, because I'm not a queen bee. I'm a king bee.