You can't open your presents 'til you write your thank-you letters.

I was talking to the great Armen Ra, the world's most renowned theremin player, and he told me, "I don't trust old people that do drugs, but I don't trust young people that don't do them." I think what he meant by that is that you've got to be young, you've got to be adventurous and experimental. I'm certainly not asking any of my fans or kids to do drugs, but I certainly wouldn't judge them for doing them.

Never feel guilty. Don't hold yourself back by guilt or fear. No other species in the entire world deals with guilt. Guilt is a bizarre emotion that makes you feel bad about decisions that you make.

I don't want to be anyone's role model. My mole models were assholes. My role models are dead. My role models never made it to 30, so I'm a bad person to ask for advice.

Am I in the Forbes 100? Absolutely not, and I'll never be there. But for the first time I make so much money that I feel poor, like I have to cultivate and protect this fortune. But I never had more than $20 in my pocket before RuPaul's Drag Race so I feel so privileged with money, it's terrible. I bought a $300 beige t-shirt today.

I function because I am on drugs.

I acknowledge that I have no idea who the hell I am, and I think that's the first step.