The most unusual salesman I ever met is a fellow who made a modest fortune purveying lightning rods. But he suddenly lost interest in his work. He got caught in a storm with a bunch of samples in his arms.

If you've never met a student from the University of Chicago, I'll describe him to you. If you give him a glass of water, he says, 'This is a glass of water. But is it a glass of water? And if it is a glass of water, why is it a glass of water?' And eventually he dies of thirst.

While you're improvising, you may come up with something which will break him up. As soon as that smile comes out, you know that, hey, we're having fun.

As much experience, education and awareness as one can attain is important for a comedian.

We teach reading, writing and math by [having students do] them. But we teach democracy by lecture.

I was an actor before becoming a comedian.

The most memorable performance was my appearance in concert in Carnegie Hall. The first standup to do so.