I developed several comedy phone calls.

If you've never met a student from the University of Chicago, I'll describe him to you. If you give him a glass of water, he says, 'This is a glass of water. But is it a glass of water? And if it is a glass of water, why is it a glass of water?' And eventually he dies of thirst.

As much experience, education and awareness as one can attain is important for a comedian.

I quit smoking well over twenty years ago.

I believe it is important for comedians to know who came before them.

A hotel is a place that keeps the manufacturers of 25-watt bulbs in business.

We teach reading, writing and math by [having students do] them. But we teach democracy by lecture.