Yes, he’s a good boy. Never been in trouble at school and he’s on the honor roll. Captain of the football team. All-around psycho serial killer who hides bodies in the fridge whenever his parents go out of town. (Nick) I also eat babies for breakfast and torture small animals for fun. My therapist says I’m making real progress though. (Caleb)

Total evil. dang, his principal had been right all along... he really was demonspawn.

Are you up? Dressing? (Astrid) No. I’m pissing on your rug. What do you think I’m doing? (Zarek) I’m blind. For all I know you really are peeing on my rug, which is a very nice rug incidentally, so I hope you’re kidding. (Astrid)

If I’m not back in a few hours…well, I don’t want to think about that. I might change my mind about doing this. I’m thinking happy thoughts. Creamed dog innards and rotten steak. Yeah. Yum! (Asmodeus)

Good grief. You two look like Village of the Sofa Damned. (Cassandra)

I have much to teach you. Come and learn the art of war from the one who invented it. (Takeshi)

And you, Kibbles, had better lay off me. One more growl and I swear I’m going to geld you with a spoon. (Zarek)