Or more precisely, is there anything I can do for you, ma’am? (Waiter) ‘How about a bag for my head, or a stick to beat Lanie with?’ (Grace)

You okay? (Grace) Oh, yeah. I’m just fine considering the fact I’ve walked through burning fires that hurt less than my groin does right now. (Julian) I said I was sorry. Okay, can you reach the pedals? (Grace) I’d like to reach your pedals…(Julian) Julian! Would you concentrate? (Grace) All right. I’m concentrating. (Julian) I don’t mean on my breasts. (He dropped his hungry gaze to her lap.) Or there, either. (Grace)

What if he wakes up before you get home and steals you blind? (Wayne) Steals what? My clothes won’t fit him and I have nothing of any value. Not unless he likes my Peter, Paul, and Mary collection anyway. (Sunshine)

What are you? (Zarek) I’m a nymph. (Astrid) I hope you just left an important syllable off that word, princess. (Zarek)

Can you stand? (Aimee) I’m not helpless. (Fang) Oh, look! Mr. Macho is back in all his glory. Hello, Mr. Macho, it’s so not good to see you again. But you know, Mr. Macho, that you’ve been bedridden to the point that your legs aren’t used to carrying your weight and you’re not really human. So if you want to get up and fall, gods forbid I do anything to stop it. After all, I live for America’s Funniest Home Videos. Should I fetch a camcorder now? (Aimee)

When a cow lives with the butcher, sooner or later he gets eaten unless he helps the other cows off to their slaughter. (Nick)

And if I don’t want you to? (Ravyn) You know, you’d look really weird in a dress and high heels. (Susan) What’s that supposed to mean? (Ravyn) It means you’re not my mother. Now stop arguing and help me find my shoes. (Susan)