Some people say I’m a dreamer, others say, 'If you fall asleep at work again we’re going to have to let you go'.

You can't teach an old dog new dog new tricks. Now,you can give an old dog new toys. And we've got one here!

Never insult a mans beard, you either get thunder or lightning

I was in my tighty-whities and I never woke up, and I ran over a mile.

I messed up on the Vietnam Special, because I gave it to civilians? Only military men can handle that.

People don't realize where unsweet tea came from. During the war they had to ration sugar, so then everybody just had to drink bitter tea, or unsweet.

They got some people that are saying, hey, elect me as president. Hey, Washington couldn't handle Si Robertson. Trust me.