First it's pretty tires. Next it's pretty guns. Then the next thing you know, you're shaving your beard and wearing capri pants.

I'm like a fine-tuned race car. You've got to make frequent pit stops when you drink as much tea as I do.

It ain't gun control we need; it's sin control.

When I sign people's stuff I put down John 3:16 and 17.

We killed our own hogs, we killed our own beef, we raised our own vegetables, which Mama canned. We did live off the land.

I sting like a butterfly and punch like a flea.

People say, "Look, your book [Tales and Wisdom from Duck Dynasty's Favorite Uncle] is about tall tales." And I said, "No, you don't understand, OK? The book is tall tales, OK, by me. But look, those tall tales are my life, OK? And look, I added some spices in there. That's the five percent. You know the one about the wolves chasing me? The only thing about that - they wasn't wolves, they was coyotes".