My heart, my lungs, my blood - they've all been checked. I remember one of the doctors almost being disappointed when he showed me the results because he couldn't wait to tell me what smoking was doing to me. But there was nothing there.

When I was young and we got caught pinching apples, we got a smack from the local policeman. Today if that happened he would be sued. There is a tendency to punish the victim, not the criminal. If someone broke into my house or my mum's house, I worry that the burglar has more rights than me.

The feelings that we equate with love-feeling sick, feeling insecure, not eating-that's just lust getting in the way. It's your ego saying, 'I want to get laid' and 'I hope she likes me more than I like her.' Love is something that should be there in 20 years' time.

That was extraordinary. Unfortunately, extraordinarily bad.

I think you have to judge everything based on your personal taste. And if that means being critical, so be it. I hate political correctness. I absolutely loathe it.

It simply works. You do it twice a year. Who cares? And it balances my smoking and drinking.

I was living life like in one of those Disney movies, where I genuinely believed nobody was ever going to die