The world I describe is about how people live now. It's not about zany people with unlimited, inexplicable funds in an apartment somewhere.

I would gladly have accepted a heaping spoonful of nepotism when I got out of college and was looking for a job.

Uniqueness is wasted on youth. Like fine wine or a solid flossing habit, you'll be grateful for it when you're older.

You feel like telling him you're not single in the way that he thinks you're single. After all, you have yourself. I think a lot of humor is about distracting yourself. Pretend you're not trying to make it funny. Because for some reason the effort to be funny smells like sulphur in our culture.

Insomniacs tend to fall into two general categories - those who give up and those who don't. I don't. I refuse to admit defeat by turning on the light. I will not try to read or watch a movie, thank you. Productivity is a crutch of the weak.

I don't really think of my essays as being about myself. I know it sounds insane, but I just don't think of them as a memoir. They're essays; they're not an autobiography.

The world I describe is about how people live now. It's not about zany people with unlimited, inexplicable funds in an apartment somewhere.