I have definitely had experiences where I can feel the shift from simply living my life to being slightly outside of my life and taking notes.

For me, nothing brings out my 'born yesterday' idiotic qualities quite like having my photograph taken.

I don't really think of my essays as being about myself. I know it sounds insane, but I just don't think of them as a memoir. They're essays; they're not an autobiography.

Juice cleansing has been all the rage for some time. And I used the word 'rage' advisedly; one must push a violent flood of liquidised vegetables and fruit through one's system for at least three days in order to perform a 'cleanse.'

Because, ten-year-olds of the world, you shouldn't believe what your teachers tell you about the beauty and specialness and uniqueness of you. Or, believe it, little snowflake, but know it won't make a bit of difference until after puberty. It's Newton's lost law: anything that makes you unique later will get your chocolate milk stolen and your eye blackened as a kid. Won't it, Sebastian? Oh, yes, it will, my little Mandarin Chinese-learning, Poe-reciting, high-top-wearing friend. God bless you, wherever you are.

I think that most New Yorkers would object to calling me a New Yorker. I didn't grow up here.

You feel like telling him you're not single in the way that he thinks you're single. After all, you have yourself.