If you put me in South Park, that audience is going to fall asleep in five minutes.

Most poetry just confounds me. I really want to like it, but I can't help thinking it's a hoax. (p. 24)

If a restaurant offers crayons, I always take them and color throughout the meal. It beats talking to the people I came to dinner with.

I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun.

It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian tiger-from a distance, preferably separated by bars.

If you're from a certain generation, you basically learn to read with 'Peanuts.' It's sort of the template for the modern strip. Its influence ceased to be noticed because it's in everything.

I don't like drawing characters facing right. If I tried to do that at a book signing, I'd have to pencil it first.