The phrase 'I just turn on my monkey and it makes me feel good' sounds very dirty, but I can't explain why. It's great to try to use expressions like that on the comics page. People want to complain but they can't, because they can't figure out quite what they should be complaining about.

My wife Staci made me go to a wedding last weekend...If it weren’t for her, I’d be happy.

If you put me in South Park, that audience is going to fall asleep in five minutes.

You can write a little and can draw a little, but there's necessarily a limitation on both in a comic strip, since it appears in such a tiny space.

If you're from a certain generation, you basically learn to read with 'Peanuts.' It's sort of the template for the modern strip. Its influence ceased to be noticed because it's in everything.

If a restaurant offers crayons, I always take them and color throughout the meal. It beats talking to the people I came to dinner with.

When I say 'friends,' I use that term loosely, as I don't actually have any.