It took me years and years of trial efforts to work out that there is absolutely no knitting triumph I can achieve that my husband will think is worth being woken up for.

It is a peculiarity of knitters that they chronically underestimate the amount of time it takes to knit something. Birthday on Saturday? No problem. Socks are small. Never mind that the average sock knit out of sock-weight yarn contains about 17,000 stitches. Never mind that you need two of them. (That's 34,000 stitches, for anybody keeping track.) Socks are only physically small. By stitch count, they are immense.

The chances of running out of yarn on a project are directly related to the difficulty that you will have getting more.

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf.

I am a person who works well under pressure. In fact, I work so well under pressure that at times, I will procrastinate in order to create this pressure.

SABLE- A common knitting acronym that stands for Stash Acquisition Beyond Life Expectancy.

You know you knit too much when ... You take knitting to a wedding, in case there's a little time before the bride comes down the aisle. Double points if you are the bride.