Do you know what 'masturbation' is? I think you probably do because you are older than me. But just in case, I will tell you. Masturbation is when you rub your genitals until you have an orgasm. Wow!

I walked over to the hill where we used to go and sled. There were a lot of little kids there. I watched them flying. Doing jumps and having races. And I thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do. And they will all kiss someone someday. But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding were always enough, but it isn't.

I would make the movie industry more like the television industry. TV is more material driven. In TV, you can break new stars. TV can take more chances.

Banning books gives us silence when we need speech. It closes our ears when we need to listen. It makes us blind when we need sight.

There's nothing like deep breaths after laughing that hard. Nothing in the world like a sore stomach for the right reasons.

Maybe these are my glory days, and I'm not ever realizing it because they involve a ball.

The radio comes back even louder than you remember it.