It is a cliche that most cliches are true, but then like most cliches, that cliche is untrue.

I don't believe there is a God. If I were to believe in a god, l would believe in gods.

I went to Cambridge and thought I would stay there. I thought I would quietly grow tweed in a corner somewhere and become a Don or something.

Naturally I've known girlies form an attachment to the younger male before now, but in the tennis score of the bedroom most girls in my experience would rather Love Thirty or Love Forty than Love Fifteen. Men, of course, are a whole other issue; they start at Love All and stay there until they're dragged from the court

Hell, I am young. I am free. My teeth are clean. The sun shines. To hell with everything else

My first words, as I was being born [...] I looked up at my mother and said, 'that's the last time I'm going up one of those.

Many people would no more think of entering journalism than the sewage business - which at least does us all some good.