Fighting for peace, is like f***ing for chastity

I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses.

What Darwin was too polite to say, my friends, is that we came to rule the earth not because we were the smartest, or even the meanest, but because we have always been the craziest, most murderous motherfuckers in the jungle.

Acknowledge your good fortune by sharing it.

Somebody asked Somerset Maugham about his place in the pantheon of writers, and he said, "I'm in the very front row of the second rate." I'm sort of haunted by that.

And will I tell you that these three lived happily ever after? I will not, for no one ever does. But there was happiness. And they did live.

In many ways, Eulah-Beulah prepared me for literary criticism. After having a two-hundred-pound babysitter fart on your face and yell Pow!, The Village Voice holds few terrors.