You can't polish a turd.

I have two amazing things in my life: I'm pain-free and I'm debt-free.

It was not fair, it was not fair, it was not fair. So cried his child's heart, and then his child's heart died a little. For that is also the way of the world.

I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses.

Whenever I publish a book, I feel like a trapper caught by the Iroquois. They're all lined up with Tomahawks, and the idea is to run through with your head down, and everybody gets to take a swing. They hit you in the head, the back, the ass, and the balls.

If God gives you something you can do, why in God's name wouldn't you do it?

Death was no less a miracle than birth.