One of life's great truths is this: when one is about to be struck by a speeding six-hundred pound Coke machine, one need worry about little else.

Of course they had more chains on him than Scrooge saw on Marley's ghost, but he could have kicked up dickens if he'd wanted. That's a pun, son.

Only enemies speak the truth; friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web of duty.

Here I am, ninety years old and ready for the cooling board, using a brand new Macintosh computer, and there you sit, twenty-two and gorgeous, fresh as a new peach, yet scrawling on a yellow legal pad like an old maid in a Victorian romance.

You don't always talk with your mouth. Sometimes what you say with your mouth hardly matters at all. You have to signify

Everyone loves something for nothing...even if it costs everything.

Like some dogs: kick them once and they never trust you again, no matter how nice you are to them.