A sportsman is a man who, every now and then, simply has to get out and kill something.

In point of morals, the average woman is, even for business, too crooked.

The student of arithmetic who has mastered the first four rules of his art, and successfully striven with money sums and fractions, finds himself confronted by an unbroken expanse of questions known as problems.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

Writing is not hard. Just get paper and pencil, sit down, and write as it occurs to you. The writing is easy-it's the occurring that's hard.

Humor may be defined as the kindly contemplation of the incongruities of life, and the artistic expression thereof.

Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself - it is the occurring which is difficult.