The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything

Most people tire of a lecture in ten minutes; clever people can do it in five. Sensible people never go to lectures at all. But the people who do go to a lecture and who get tired of it, presently hold it as a sort of grudge against the lecturer personally. In reality his sufferings are worse than theirs.

It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.

The English are terribly lazy about fighting. They like to get it over and done with and then set up a game of cricket.

Being a specialist is one thing, getting a job is another.

In Canada we have enough to do keeping up with two spoken languages ... so we just go right ahead and use English for literature, Scotch for sermons, and American for conversation.

When actors begin to think, it's time for a change. They are not fitted for it.