The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything

A silk dress in four sections, and shoes with high heels that would have broken the heart of John Calvin.

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

I am what is called a professor emeritus—from the Latin e, 'out,' and meritus, 'so he ought to be.

Any two meals at a boarding-house are together less than two square meals.

Newspapermen learn to call a murderer "an alleged murderer" and the King of England "the alleged King of England" in order to avoid libel suits.

There is no doubt that many things in life come to us...at backrounds so to speak. Happiness is one of them.