Radio is the theater of the mind; television is the theater of the mindless.

Thousands of years ago only Christ could walk on the water. Today anybody can do it; you just step on the garbage.

The Bible is unfortunately unclear on a long list of moral and social questions and sex is one of them. On the one hand, there are expressions of admiration for the reportedly virgin mother of Jesus, but other portions of scripture speak quite accommodatingly of polygamy.

I'm all for sex. Seven nights a week. Days, too.

Sometimes things which at the moment may be perceived as obstacles-and actually be obstacles, difficulties, or drawbacks-can in the long run result in some good end which would not have occurred if it had not been for the obstacle.

Nothing is better than the unintended humor of reality.

Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots.