As soon as you start to talk about your own mannerisms, you are screwed. Because if you are aware of your own mannerisms, or beyond that even what makes any one thing funny to people, I really ascribe to that that if you start deconstructing it too much, it is immediately not funny.

If we were meant to read for enjoyment, would God have created television? Read as it was intended - for exercise. The more you read, the more you expand your - what's the word I'm looking for? - your stockpile of words. You must have a stockpile of words that you can pass along to your children for their stockpile.

An office is a place to... live life to the fullest. To the max. To... an office is a place where dreams come true.

I love my wife dearly, and, therefore, I've never cooked a meal, romantic or otherwise, for her.

Children are very smart, in their own stupid way. A child's brain is like a sponge, and you know how smart sponges are.

We always spend the summer together. My wife and kids, we always go back to Massachusetts and spend the summer there near where my wife and I both grew up. I wasn't willing to sacrifice the summer to go elsewhere.

I play the baritone horn - which is like a mini tuba, and is the least sexy instrument you can choose and I generally say I don’t play one so I don’t have to acknowledge it. I also play fife.