I like the transience of Klimt paintings.

Actually, bizarrely, in America, I get more appreciation from the odd, unusual stuff I've done, almost because I'm not, if you like, famous in America as I am in England.

Guide dogs for the blind. It's cruel really, isn't it? Getting a dog to lead a man round all day. Not fair on either of them.

I'm gonna hump ya. Like Deputy Dog... Would hump ya.

The trick is always to write in pairs because if at least two people find it funny, you've immediately halved the odds of it not being funny.

I do like to make people cringe. That discomfort, tension, embarrassment, pain - all of those things interest me, and not through some sort of masochistic or sadistic impulse. It illuminates what being a human being is. It taps into what it is to be human more incisively than stuff that's just very pedestrian.

I try to not make safe choices, but I also like to do stuff which is interesting and is sort of exciting in some way and accessible.