What I mean is that none of my talents had a - what's that great word - rubric. A singer, an actor, a dancer - there was nothing I could really say I was. The writing came much later. And, actually, thank God, because if I had said I'm a singer, I would really have just had one thing to do.

When someone less capable is ahead of me, I am not pleased. It makes me insane.

The thing about the banjo is when you first hear it, it strikes many people as what's that? There's something very compelling about it to certain people.

Performing music is a way to do comedy, but without the obligation to do a solid hour, hour and half of a standup. I could intersperse it with music, so it became a really good format for me.

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town.

To me, torture would be, "I can't think what to write in the next sentence. I'm stuck." Torture would be if you didn't have the next idea.