I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.

Comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening.

To be with another woman, that is French. To be caught, that is American.

Awards mean nothing to comedians. What matters is the audience, how you're doing - artistically, for the most part - at that moment.

It eventually appeared to be me, cinematically. When I was writing it I was actually an author, you know, writing a book. ... But there certainly is a difference in energy between a younger man and an older man.

If you're studying Geology, which is all facts, as soon as you get out of school you forget it all, but Philosophy you remember just enough to screw you up for the rest of your life.

How is it possible to miss a woman whom you kept at a distance, so that when she was gone you would not miss her?