So is this how it works Doctor? You never interfere with the affairs of other peoples or planets, unless there are children crying?

You want weapons? We're in a library! Books! The best weapons in the world!

When writing comedy, you have to have the confidence to believe that there is only one type of relationship in the world, and we are all having it, that all men behave in the same way and so do all women.

I always rip out the last page of a book. Then it doesn't have to end. I hate endings!

It’s been a long time since Sherlock Holmes jumped off that roof - it’s time to reveal the truth about what happened between him and the pavement.

Though the man above might say hello, expect no love from the beast below

Well, the world is vastly counted in favour of men at every level - except if you live in a civilised country and you’re sort of educated and middle-class, because then you’re almost certainly junior in your relationship and in a state of permanent, crippled apology. Your preferences are routinely mocked. There’s a huge, unfortunate lack of respect for anything male.