I like naked women! I'm a bloke! I'm supposed to like them! We're born like that. We like naked women as soon as we're pulled out of one... When Man invented fire, he didn't say "Hey, let's cook!" He said: "Great! Now we can see naked bottoms in the dark!"... The story of male achievement through the ages, feeble though it may have been, has been the story of our struggle to get a better look at your bottoms.

Always take a banana to a party.

Cinema is so slow and boring compared to television.

What is immutable about Sherlock Holmes? He favors reason over emotion, but actually underneath that, there is a lot of emotion going on. You can't suddenly make him ordinary because he would hate that. He's not suddenly going to be somebody else.

Never run when you're scared. Rule 7.

The Doctor: Just had a fall. All the way down there, right to the library. Heck of a climb back up. Amelia: You're soaking wet. The Doctor: I was in the swimming pool. Amelia: You said you were in the library. The Doctor: So was the swimming pool.

You could only draw conclusions about my personal sexual politics if you proceed from the assumption that I was presenting the characters as the way it is and the way it ought to be. But both are clearly defined as deranged – it’s love among the mad. He’s a psycopath, so is she. She’s prepared to throw him to the dogs until he works out the code, he’s prepared to let her nearly get executed. They’re not really going to buy a house and a Volvo together. I’m not saying this is how people should date!