When writing comedy, you have to have the confidence to believe that there is only one type of relationship in the world, and we are all having it, that all men behave in the same way and so do all women.

Nothing can ever be a rule in drama, because then you're saying certain things won't ever happen, and that would be very boring.

Do you know how you make someone into a Dalek? Subtract Love, add Anger.

Well, the world is vastly counted in favour of men at every level - except if you live in a civilised country and you’re sort of educated and middle-class, because then you’re almost certainly junior in your relationship and in a state of permanent, crippled apology. Your preferences are routinely mocked. There’s a huge, unfortunate lack of respect for anything male.

I'll be a story in your head. That's okay. We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh? 'Cause it was, you know. It was the best. The daft old man who stole a magic box and ran away. Did I ever tell you that I stole it? Well I borrowed it. I was always going to take it back.

I never go online. The Internet stuff is bonkers. You must not look at it.

An awful lot of storytelling isn't really about making people understand - it's about making people care.